


Sopor Slime FuckFest Brought to You By Eggderp

by RustKing



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Minimal Dirty Talk, Pailing, Porn With Plot, Shitty First Fanfic, Sopor Slime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 02:56:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2756960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RustKing/pseuds/RustKing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>God grant me sweet release from this life</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sopor Slime FuckFest Brought to You By Eggderp

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this maybe 2 years ago, I don't know. It was based on some roleplay shindig I did on Omegle. Oh man how fucked up. But anyway, GOD, it was so cringy when I first wrote it so I edited it. For the THIRD time. You are welcome. Enjoy.
> 
> Edit))  
> FOURTH FUCKING EDIT

Sometimes, John was a good kid. And I say sometimes for a reason. John had been with Gamzee earlier, listening to the juggalo ramble on about his messiahs or whatever the fuck, when Gamzee pulls out a pie and offers some to him. This is not just any pie though. This is a sopor slime pie. John, being the naïve idiot he is, takes up Gamzee's offer to try it. Holy fuck, what a mistake. It doesn't hit him immediately, but when it does he is fucking GONE. Figuratively and literally. Now, being the prankster he is, he decides to pull out some love doohickey. Like a potion. Now I know, stupid right? Won't seem so stupid soon.

Karkat sat in his block, reading a trashy romance novel. He was on the verge of tears over how the main characters kismesis had flipped red and died for the main character when in comes Eggderp Supreme™. Jumping in his seat, he hides the book and wipes his tears away hastily. "What the fuck, Egbert. Go away, I'm fucking busy." Karkat sniffles. John doesn't reply, just stands there with his hands behind his back likes he's about to pull some Blair Witch bullshit. 

Sitting a little bit straighter in his seat, Karkat growls. "John, I swear, if you don't get out right now I'll-!" And like a man possessed, Egbert races across the room and tackles Karkat. With him momentarily stunned, John uncorks his love potion bullshit and just fucking dumps it on Karkat. Just soaks him in it, like he's a preacher and Karkat's a sinner being baptized and reborn anew. Officially accomplishing his duty, Fuckbert races off whooping and hollering like a goddamn idiot. Don't do drugs kids. Don't do that mary jane bullshit. Go to school man. 

Karkat sits there, stunned by what just happened and how turned on he is now. He thinks of the few people who will help him without also being completely disgusted by his state. Then it hits him. Ah Sollux, that jaded asshole. Surely his lispy ass will be of some help. Karkat pulls himself to his feet and makes the slow journey to Sollux's block. 

After what seems like a fucking eternity, our angry protagonist reaches the door to salvation. He knocks tentatively, realizing that this could go very well or off the deep end of shit creek. Sollux opens the door, cutting that train of thought short. "What do you want, KK?" Sollux asks. "First of all", Karkat says "you look like utter shit. Secondly, I need help." Sollux rolls his eyes, "Wow, KK, you are the epitome of perthuathiveneth. Just come in." He opens the door wider for Karkat, gesturing inside. 

Karkat enters the room, and beelines to the bed. Sollux shuts the door and sits in his desk chair. "Tho, explain your predicament. We're all friendth here." Sollux chuckles. "Fuck off, 'athhole'. Look, what I'm about to tell you is weird as fuck. Just shut up and listen" Karkat proceeds to rant on about how royally stupid our dear John is and how he screwed Karkat over. Also, I cannot be bothered to write that much. Silence falls over the room momentarily and is broken by the raucous guffawing of the lanky pissman. Said pissman is pushed off his chair. "ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY, SHIT STAIN. IT'S GETTING WORSE." Karkat yells, almost on the verge of tears. Sollux stifles his laughter and sits up, rubbing his side. 

"Well, what can I fucking do about it? Go grab a thynthetic bulge and wait it out." Sollux snaps at the other. He had not slept in 24 hours and this was downright ridiculous. "Hell no. What if I die? You want that on your conscience? 'Dear old Vantas, what a fine troll. Too bad he died. If ONLY SOLLUX HAD HELPED HIM. But ah, he couldn't be fucking BOTHERED.'" At this point Sollux was rolling on the floor again, tears streaming down his cheeks. "OH MY GOD. FINE. I'LL HELP." Sollux cried, panting from his laughing fit. Karkat hummed, crossing his arms as Sollux sat up again. The pissman lifted his eyebrows, "Well? Get on the bed already so we can get this over with."

**Author's Note:**

> Homestuck may be finished, but it's not done fucking me over.


End file.
